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I've done quite a bit of research. My mother was raised Baptist, grew up in a household that was religious and went to church every Sunday. My dad was raised Catholic, they went to church, but when he was old enough (18) to make his own decision, he stopped going. So I was raised in a household that did not stress religion and we went to church once in a blue moon when I was a kid.
And so when I became a teenager, I began looking for some meaning because there was that spiritual void in my life. So I began to research a number of religions. I had a Jewish friend in high school, and constantly pestered him with questions about his religion. Read up on Islam, and for a brief time thought about converting. Went to college, learned a little bit about some Eastern philosophies such as Buddhism and Taoism. I majored in history, and took other classes in anthropology, sociology, psychology, evolution, and biology.
I have a copy of the Bible (New Living Translation), bequeathed to me by my late grandfather that sits on my desk in front of my computer, and usually once a week or so I crack that thing open and read something. I find the book of Romans to be a fascinating read.
But through all of this, my thirst for knowledge, understanding, to understand my purpose in this universe, incorporating everything I knew and up until a few years ago, wanting to prove the existence of God, I couldn't do it.
I'm not smart enough, but plenty of smarter people have tried and failed. And that's why it's called Faith, believing in something that you cannot prove. And it's probably unprovable, thus the agnosticism. And it's my opinion, which I note because it's more of a fluid opinion than a fundamental belief of mine, that most of the evidence stacks against the existence of God, at least the existence that is indicated in the Bible.
So I decided a few years ago, I'll live my life, try and treat people with dignity and respect, die, and then see what happens.
_________________ "Vincere scis, Hannibal, victoria uti nescis" -- Maharbal, 216 B.C.E.
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