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King Arthur: [after Arthur's cut off both of the Black Knight's arms] Look, you stupid Bastard. You've got no arms left.
Black Knight: Yes I have.
King Arthur: *Look*!
Black Knight: It's just a flesh wound.

..Gus is just like Mick...he keeps recycling the same material.

I would take that as insult if I considered myself anywhere approaching a second level musician but I don't. I'm just a basher from the basement. I like the way Mick and the guys play but I'm sure they aren't "musicians" in the eyes of all kinds of jazz people. While I respect the ability of virtuosos or whatever I don't typically find them particularly listenable. Really not too much into jazz though I like some of it in small doses. I've played on the fringes and really like a turd in the punch bowl with some pretty good jazz players but I couldn't really run with them. OTOH, I never much liked where they were running too. It's all subjective.

The great Miles joke is when this jazz played goes to Heaven and St. Peter tells him, "Oh man, you're gonna love it up here. All the great cats are here...Dizzy, Coltrane...all the boys!" The guy looks over in the corner and there's a guy off by himself with his collar turned up in the corner playing the trumpet.
"Wow! Is that miles over there?"
"Nah man, that's God. He just thinks he's Miles."

That's a funny story at the end Bnb. What you said about jazz players thinking of Mick reminds me of who knows their instrument better a jazz player or a classical player? Both are totally different in the way they communicate music to an audience.I'd like to say jazz players know their horns better but I'm sure classical players would debate that.

What's the difference between a musician and a fourteen-inch pizza?


A fourteen-inch pizza can feed a family of four.

How many guitar players does it to screw in a light bulb?

One to do it and 50 stand in the back of the room and say, "I can do that."


What do they call the guys who hang out with musicians?

Drummers.

This second joke is based on the biggest lie in the biz. I am a drummer groupie. A great drummer can lift up a weak band and a "good" band with a bad drummer will never be good. I'm so uncoordinated I can't even work a tambourine properly (harder than you think). As to who knows their instrument best and so on, I don't really think that playing classical music would be especially rewarding as it takes so much of one's own creativity out of the mix. It's like organized religion versus spirituality, I guess.

Regarding the pizza....I could barely feed a family of one when I was trying to "make it." I learned everything I know about poverty back then.

You are 1000% correct there BNB. Drummers are vastly underrated. Some bands have never been the same after they lost their drummers. I can only speak for some of the Jazz guys, but they covet their drummers. Bass is also very underrated.

"All the good music has already been written by people with wigs and stuff." -- Frank Zappa

In jazz the bass and drums are the most interesting thing going, IMO.

A man is being led thru the jungle on a safari. He begins to hear some really furious, pounding drums, rolling along without end. After 15 minutes of this, he asks the guide "When do the drums stop?" The guide answers "Oh, the drums NEVER stop. Bad things happen then." The man ponders this for about two hours more of furious pounding, and says, irritated, "When do the drums stop?!?" "The drums never stop. Bad things happen when the drums stop." Finally, after 5 hours, the man asks "What bad thing happens when the drums stop?" "BASS SOLO."

....and then there are percussion players.


Bongo

One day these 3 friends went hunting in the forest. As they are walking along they are ambushed by a primitive tribe. They were all taken back to the camp and one by one tied to three separate trees.
Then the "big chief" comes out of his toupee and stares each guy in the face, he then turns to the tribe and says " Death or Bongo".

There is a fierce uproar and the tribe begins to chant " Bongo,Bongo,Bongo!"

The chief then turns to the men and asks the first one "Death or bongo?"

The first man replies " I don't like the sound of death so it will have to be bongo"

So 10 men come out of the tribe and begin to bugger him up the arse!!

The chief then turns to the second man and asks the same question.

he replys, slightly hesitant through "bongo"

so 30 men come and bugger him up the arse!!

The third man,who is now quite distressed decided that he would rather die than be subjected to this horrible ordeal.

So the chief asks him " Death or Bongo?"

"death!!" he said "I would rather die then have Bongo!!"

The chief then smiled and replied

" so be it, DEATH.........BY BONGO!