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It was the early nineties. Everything in my life was going well. I had a good job @ a private school in Atlanta, I was a working musician, I was young, single and handsome.
And then I met.....Her.
I was playing drums in a small bookstore in Little Five Points when she walked in the door. Oh My God. Every head turned to look at her. She was a majestic thing of beauty. Very,very sexy. And, she was in a 'bookstore'!
I noticed her slyly checking me out during the set, so I got her digits and intended to ring her up ASAP.
Our courtship was fast and quick. She had recently graduated from Emory, had broken up with her boyfriend 6 months ago, and was living with a friend. We were dating 2 months when my lease on my APT in Midtown was up.
We agreed to live together, which was just fine by me. She was then unemployed and was cruising through her early 20's, while I seemed to have a plan in place.
We got an awesome apartment and happily lived together for 2 years. A band I was playing with ( an 'alternative' band called Otter )was getting some interest. It did not hurt that the drummer of this band worked in the music industry, and the lead was a well known ATL regular. So, I had it all: I was playing bass in a band on the edge, awesome girl, the works. We were scheduled to open for Soul Asylum in town, with the possibility of more opening gigs with them if they approved!
Then it all went south. I intended to ask my girl to marry at the gig. I then noticed her and the drummer pretty much hanging all over Soul Asylum. I chalked it up to 'sucking up for the band's good' and rationalized her behaviour. She declined my offer that night, to my utter dismay.
Then, the 'drummer' moved in directly behind our awesome apt. Before too long, every time we had a fight, she was back in his apt for consolation. You guys can see where this is going, right? Not me. What a dumbass.
In time, I found out that there was more then just 'friendship going on' in the back apt. When it all came out, I was furious. I had never felt so betrayed. This girl could have had anything, anyone, why him? As I stood trembling with rage in my 'awesome' apartment, she taunted me and told me to leave. I have never hit a woman, and never will. But I wanted to. Oooooh, how I wanted to. So, I did the only thing I thought I could get away with. I spit right in her face, and left.
She called her mother, who then called the police, who paid me a 'visit' at the Clairmont Lounge apartments. Long story short, her mother told me her daughter did not feel 'safe' with me anymore, and I should leave her alone. I complied.
Then occurred one of the worst times in my life. I was living in a flophouse, had lost my up and coming band, and the good job at the private school was being restructured so only Master's teachers were going to qualify for the good paying jobs. My options were to take a huge pay cut, or find other work. I started washing dishes as Vickeries at night to pay the bills. Every night I would see the refuse of humanity in my flophouse: crack addicts, drunks, prostitutes and thieves. I was absolutely crushed.
I wrote some terrific music during this time, but to this day I cannot listen to it without every bit of that sickening stomach hurt coming back, even after 18 years.
I eventually got out of my funk, but there was collateral damage. For a loong time, I wouldn't get close to any other female, in the 'loving' sense. Sure, I got laid and had girlfriends, but when they realized I was never going to ask them to marry, they found other guys that would.
My wife should get a medal. She refused to quit. We dated and lived together for 5 years before I finally succumbed and popped the question. We have been married now since 98, and I am happy and have my own child.
A couple months ago, I noticed a very attractive looking woman joggin up the alley behind my house. Damn, if that ass didn't look familair. but: no way. Last I heard my old ex had gone to California, so it just could not be her?!
I stopped my car one day to ask her her dog's name: and after 6 minutes of small talk: we both recognized each other. Damn if it wasn't that c*nt that broke my heart so long ago, and damn if her and her brood had purchased the house directly behind my own. Now you would think after so long,none of that stuff would matter. I guess I am a small, bitter man, because when I recognized her I just drove away.
Well, all these years I did wonder what happend to her. A couple times I 'googled' her name but found nothing...Then a halloween card got put in my box by mistake with her current surname.
I googled that name yesterday, and oh: what a story to tell.
Apparently, miss thing moved out to Hollywood and married, then divorced. She then married the brother of one of Hollywoods biggest actresses. I'm talking superstar here..Big Time.
In a tabloid she accused this well known actress of trying to 'steal her babies' when this actress funded her brothers divorce~ she had had kids with the guy. She also said some pretty disgusting things about the actress, which leads me to believe she was looking for attention, or a check. Classy, huh?
So now, as far as I can tell, she is married yet again, and probably has damaged the relationship between her kids and thier father and extended family. And now she lives right behind me, even though we haven't exchanged any words since the discovery, and I try to avoid driving past her place at all. What bothers me is that I am happy in her situation, even though the kids really are the ones to suffer, and I should be magnanimous. But, I'm not. I still feel the pain, and I cannot understand how so many years later, something as trivial as this should bother me at all.
My wife is aware of the situation, but doesn't care. She knows nothing is ever going to happen between me and my 'ex', becuase it wont. I despise this person. This woman put me through the absolute worst time of my life, and I don't think it's in me to ever 'forgive' her. I justify it, thinking 'she screwed your friend'. She did. I still think if she had just cheated on me with a stranger, I could have accepted it. Maybe, I dont know, but to me that's why I hate her.
It's funny how life works out. I have travelled the world, and so has she, but fate had her move in behind me sooo many years later..Fate had the drummer move behind us sooo long ago. Fate is a m*therf*cker!
I shouldn't care. But I do. I guess I am a sad bitter man after all.
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"what if there were no hypothetical situations?"
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. Her life has taken a turn for the worst and mines is going pretty well at this point(besides my birds losing the last two games) and I can say this now the way she did me I dont think I could ever feel sorry for her. 
), she may not be around much longer anyway. You just have to weigh the pros vs the cons of confronting her.
Mister "International Lover." You like Clooney noooo doubt. And gus?,...never hire a gay psychiatrist like BB please. whew!
