A not so happy birthday, but try to enjoy it if you can. It may take some time, but maybe in the future you can combine your birthday celebration with a celebration of your dad's life.
bittersweet. Scout, since your father passed so quickly with the stroke, this might sound bad, but did he get you a card or a present for your Bday before he had the stroke? If so, I would cherish that card alot. My Father had Pan Cancer, so he knew he only had a couple months to live. But, he made sure before he died that he got everybody in the family something 'special'. He passed on my sister's B Day, but he wrote her a very special card and gave her somehting from my Grandmother. My B Day is in May, and he wrote me a note inside my B day card explaining various things I really needed to hear, and I will hold that letter close forever, and one day show it to my own son.
My Father was also a very funny guy: with a sick, sick, sick sense of humour. I recall us all having a laugh watching 'meet the parents' the scnene where Mr Whiskers takes a dump after the urn falls off the mantle? He used to joke he wanted my step mom to get a cat, name it 'Fred the Turd' ( his name Fred Jr ) and have his cremated remains put in the catbox so basically he could crap all over himself for etewrnity. Wouldn't you know it? Even though he was really sick, he found some way to buy a catbox with 'Fred the Turd' on it, and it was a Bday present for ME last year
The jury is out on how he pulled this off, since I was basically taking him everywhere since the date he got diagnosed! He must have done it through one of the nurses, or his Apt office, or a catalougue, somehow he got that damn box and there it was on May 25th for me. I laughed and cried so f*cking hard that day. NOw, thanks to that sick bastard I have a cat and a catbox in my house because stepmom was having none of it.
I hope that little anecdote cheeres you up for aminute, I still snicker when I see the box in the corner