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 Post subject: Dad had severe stroke might not make it
PostPosted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 8:25 pm 
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Dad just had severe stroke don't think he is going to make it. No patient has recovered from this severe of a stroke. I'm in shock don't know what to think. Please pray for him.Lost mom 2 yrs ago now possibly dad seems like a bad dream.

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 Post subject: Re: Dad had severe stroke might not make it
PostPosted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 8:33 pm 
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VERY sorry to hear that Scout. Times like these aren't easy. You will get through it!!!

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 Post subject: Re: Dad had severe stroke might not make it
PostPosted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 10:56 pm 
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I hope for the best scout. Sorry.

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 Post subject: Re: Dad had severe stroke might not make it
PostPosted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 3:55 am 
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Pudge wrote:
I hope for the best scout. Sorry.


Thanks BB and Pudge for your concerns and prayers. Having a rough night of sleep I pray that either he is 100% or passes away soon.Times like these that test your faith and for me Jesus will decide since there are no mistakes or errors.He's in a coma state and the doctor said they have never seen anyone recover with this severe of a stroke. He said it is worse than actress Natasha Richardson since the bleeding occured inside the brain not outside.He wouldn't be able to function. These are my wished either pass away quietly or 100% heeled.

Anyway thanks for listening guys another piece of my heart will not recover but in life change occurs all the time.All of us will face this moment sooner or later. Don't mean to be depressing you guys but this is therapy for me talking to you on this board.

Hope tomorrow there is some good news.

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 Post subject: Re: Dad had severe stroke might not make it
PostPosted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 10:12 am 
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thescout wrote:
Pudge wrote:
I hope for the best scout. Sorry.


Thanks BB and Pudge for your concerns and prayers. Having a rough night of sleep I pray that either he is 100% or passes away soon.Times like these that test your faith and for me Jesus will decide since there are no mistakes or errors.He's in a coma state and the doctor said they have never seen anyone recover with this severe of a stroke. He said it is worse than actress Natasha Richardson since the bleeding occured inside the brain not outside.He wouldn't be able to function. These are my wished either pass away quietly or 100% heeled.

Anyway thanks for listening guys another piece of my heart will not recover but in life change occurs all the time.All of us will face this moment sooner or later. Don't mean to be depressing you guys but this is therapy for me talking to you on this board.

Hope tomorrow there is some good news.


We will continue to be here for you..... if you need anything.

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 Post subject: Re: Dad had severe stroke might not make it
PostPosted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 1:50 pm 
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Damn, Scout, I'm sorry to hear that. I think what you are thinking is best. I can't imagine what your day is like. Hang in there, buddy.

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 Post subject: Re: Dad had severe stroke might not make it
PostPosted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 4:32 pm 
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keep yer head up friend.

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 Post subject: Re: Dad had severe stroke might not make it
PostPosted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 5:21 pm 
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Thanks guys I really appreciate your support. Mom passed away 2 years ago now dad it's going to be tough him not being here. I need to grieve and it will take time until I can talk about falcon's football again.

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 Post subject: Re: Dad had severe stroke might not make it
PostPosted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 6:37 pm 
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Damn that sucks man,,,,, you never know with strokes sometimes people bounce back, if not I hope he goes peacefully

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 Post subject: Re: Dad had severe stroke might not make it
PostPosted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 10:33 pm 
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He went peacefully and without pain sbout 3:05 today.I guess there is a fine line about some people coming back and not.He had a massive brain hemorage and fortunately went quickly. He didn't want the nursing homes to get his money like my grandfather.A man works hard all his life to provide for family and see it go to nursing homes in this country a diffcult pill to swallow. Get a living will it's critical to protect your assets.

Every person will have his day but when it hits family 2 times in 2 years it certainly takes its toll on you.If you have never lost a family member it's hard to put into words the grief you go through.It might be a week before I get back to my usual self however the hole in my heart will remain till the day I pass also. I'm getting to sentimental but typing these words maybe will bring back memories of other relatives that passed in family. I can tell you after 2 yrs mom being gone I still get emotional sometimes its uncontrollable. Cherrish the moments you have with family don't take them for granted that they'll always be here best thing I can say.

I'm glad he had 77 years a relatively long life still losing anyone at any age that person cannot be replaced in your life. I hope this helps and it certainly helps me since it's good therapy.Once I get back to almost normal I'll be talking Falcon football now is not a good time.I'm glad I have other interests it keeps my mind off of the more important things in life.

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 Post subject: Re: Dad had severe stroke might not make it
PostPosted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 11:17 pm 
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Very eloquent, Scout. My father turned 76 a couple of weeks back. Both my folks still live so I know I am lucky. I've heard my mother say when her folks both were gone it really changed something deep inside you. I'm sorry about your father. Every day is a blessing.

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 Post subject: Re: Dad had severe stroke might not make it
PostPosted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 11:57 pm 
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Thank you for your kind words BnB. Your mother is right you can't replace mom and dad especially and losing both in 2 years is devastasting. Time will help mend the wound but there will always be a part of me missing till the day I pass over and hopefully reunite.

I have read a number of articles on near death experience there just seems to be to many unexplained events that happen that to not think there is an afterlife. People dying and coming back and can tell you what was going on in the next room. Describing people in the afterlife that there is no way that person knew them but could describe in detail who the person was.Separation of not seeing that person again probably is the hardest thing to accept. Death is final till the afterlife.

I also considered my mom and dad lucky until one day mom passed away due to a heart attack and now dad a stroke both in 2 years. Cherrish the time you have with your parents things can change in a blink of an eye and you won't be the same person. Here's is one other tidbit when you have your parents you have something to come home to like a ground base. Come home for Christmas,Thanksgiving,Easter now that is gone for me.I have a sister so I will be with them during the holidays but its never the same without your folks. Mom and dad are there from your birth till you die or they die. Their the only ones that were there at the begining which could be a reason why we miss them so much.

Thanks again, this is therapy by writing. I appreciate the concern and maybe by me sharing my story it hits home for some of us and others fortunate they haven't gone through the life process that we all will some day.

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 Post subject: Re: Dad had severe stroke might not make it
PostPosted: Sat Aug 22, 2009 12:20 am 
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My wife and I are very sorry Scout. It is very painful losing a parent. You expressed your feelings about that very well. Looks like you and your sister will have many great memories to talk about. Take care and take all the time you need. We will be here for you any time you are ready.

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 Post subject: Re: Dad had severe stroke might not make it
PostPosted: Sat Aug 22, 2009 12:30 am 
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Yeah, when you go back home you both inevitably fall back into your roles--they as parents and you as child. You and I were lucky enough to have folks we looked up to. I guess this is not always the case. My mother said for long after her mother died she would have to catch and stop herself when something would happen in her life on a given day and she would say, "I need to call my mother." I've made a point of trying to do that a lot in recent years. You have to put aside certain things and do things simply to please them, I think, because in the end this makes you happy as well. I don't mean turning your life over to their vicarious dreams but little things. I ask for and take their advice often. Knowledge never replaces wisdom and wisdom is gained through time and experience. My biz partner's father used to say, "Bought lessons are the best lessons." He, BTW, also died of a stroke and my partner quotes him and speaks of him often so, in that sense, he lives on.

The finality of death always takes a while to sink in though you accept it on face right off the bat. I always feel kind of numb for a while when a tragedy of this type takes place. A friend of mine died a couple days ago at age 54. You just never know. They always say Christmas and things like that are real sad times for people and the reason you state above is why. It is one of those times you mark with your family and when one is gone they are conspicuous by their absence.

One of my best friends died a few years back. He played sax with me for ten or fifteen years in a lot of situations and was just a close friend. He had all kinds of medical problems and had called me to tell me of the latest one day. He said, "I figure I have ten good years left in me." I recall I told him I loved him that day with sincerity. As guys we don't do that a lot but it made all the difference when he died the next week. Just the day before he died I told my son i needed to take him over to Leeroi's so he could show him all his dirty tricks on the sax which my son was learning to play. Day late and a dollar short...story of my life! :lol:

Hey man, you hang in there. I know you have some long nights ahead of you but one thing about death that is an ironic positive...it sure makes you feel alive.

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 Post subject: Re: Dad had severe stroke might not make it
PostPosted: Sat Aug 22, 2009 10:45 am 
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We share the situation Scout...I lost my Mom 3 years ago ( emphymsema ) and my Dad a yaer ago last April ( Pan Cancer )..NOthing hurts quite like it, I think the only other worse kind of suffering were to be if a parent loses thier young kids....

It definitely changes you. You find joy and sorrow in the stangest of places. My Dad was a Braves fanatic and used to keep 'journals' every day and every game. They brought me both emotions, I remember being very sad seeing how his condition affected his handwriting,,Then I would read something smartass he wrote in the margins about wanting to pee on Bobby Cox and bust out laughing. I remember my Mom watching Obama's speech to the DNC in 2004 and telling me he would be the next POTUS, and me giggling and rolling my eyes. On inauguration day, I knew she was having the last laugh...

I would see things through thier 'eyes' more now that they are gone. And, in a way, you start to become more and more like your parents every day, or at least you start to notice it more now....

I dont know if you and your Dad had a 'connection', but somehow watching the Braves has helped me..I can sit there and it's almost like I can still hear him muttering about leaving guys on base.

It makes you feel alone, though... I mean, it's been over a year, I'm married with kid, but once the parents die, it does leave you with this 'abandoned' feeling, that doesn't make much sense. I'm so sorry for you, buddy.

Let us know what we can do.

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Last edited by fun gus on Sat Aug 22, 2009 12:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Dad had severe stroke might not make it
PostPosted: Sat Aug 22, 2009 11:21 am 
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Sorry about your loss as well, FG. I had an aunt who loved to be nearly 100 who didn't know a squeeze play from a cocktail weenie but watched the Braves religiously and kept notes on each game on a pad...final score, attendance, stuff like that. She'd say, "They're just so cute." Those players really don't quite fathom what they are a part of...so many older folks having something to focus on and look forward to when they are not as mobile or involved as they once were. It is true of football as well but football doesn't have the day in and day out quality of baseball. My father is not really much of a sports fan but he did take me to my first Braves game and local HS football games when I was a kid in ATL. I was really the only one in my family who liked sports as a spectator. First game I was in RF and a guy drives a HR off of Chief Knock a Homa's tent. he gets out and does his dance. Naturally this registers with an 8 year old kid. i asked my father who hit the ball and he said, "That's Henry Aaron." That settled it. From that day on he was my favorite player and sort of childhood idol. Better to be lucky than good. I guess his pedestal was eventually displaced by Keith Richards when I turned 12 or 13. :lol:

Hey scout, tell me the expression your father used that was his signature or one you always think of. My father likes to say, "I'm not young enough to be that smart."

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 Post subject: Re: Dad had severe stroke might not make it
PostPosted: Sat Aug 22, 2009 6:08 pm 
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Hey BB,Fun Gus and BnB,thanks for sharing some of your stories and kind words. I will say that when mom died 2 years ago my dad was a heart broken,lonely man.He couldn't drive a car since about 1988 he let mom do all the errands. I do know that when a parent dies the other parent doesn't live much longer. I was living in Indianapolis when I got the news mom died which was a terrible shock.I had just got done working came home and had about 5 messages to call home.I had a phone whose battery was either low or a short in it so it would diconnect sometimes. I called home to see if there was something going on no answer. I then called my brother in laws and asked him Scott I'm calling to see if something's going on since I had 5 messages and no one answered at home. Scott(brother in law) said y eah Dave(me) your mother passed away this morning, then my phone went dead.I couldn't believe it I just talked to her 2 days ago.Talk about crying I balled for over an hour. Eventually, I quit my job and moved back with dad since he had health issues(diabetic type 2).He couldn't drive and I didn't want him to be alone so I moved back to help him out. Now that he is gone I kind of feel alone.My sister has her family and I am in this house where both of us lived.

There are so many issues now to deal with not only grief but contacting numerous people from the banks, contractors to fix the house up to sell,real estate agent and the insurance companies.Besides that I am taking some courses at the local college just to possibly do something different with my life.Thinking about physical therapist assitant or radiologist.My brother in law said that new home owners get a 8000 t ax credit ends Novemeber 1. If we do sell it by then we want to make sure we get value.Then there is the auction where highest bid buys as is. I have a good real estate agent I'll let him advise me.

The furniture will probably go to a consignment store. There some value there but also it has alot of sentimental value been in the family for decades.My head is swimming right now thinking of all the things however I know you take things one step at a time.

Dad was a big Braves fan like me maybe not as fanatical but still followed them for 20-25 years.We ate out alot places like Cracker Barrel,Bob Evans, Pizza Hut etc. He always complained about Bob Evans they don't give him an extra scoop of ice cream like Craker Barrel and it was only 93 cents more. His was a big jazz fan probablly not as much as me but I think we were both alike in interests.He had short fuse sometimes which I have but I am more rational always weighing both sides.BnB he really didin't have a favorite saying but he certainly didn't like George Bush Jr which if you have read some of my postings were both democrats.

Things are going to change alot for me but I sure didn't expect this to happen now.The job market should be better in Indy than small Ft Wayne so I'll probably move there taking into account instate tu ition vs out state tuition takes 1 year to establish residency.

I will agree losing a parent is probably the worst thing in life unless its your kids which I am not married. Losing 1 parent is extremly difficult but now both are gone devastating. Time will heel alot of things but it won't ever replace your parents who were there the first day you were born and know your history.

I'm not the first person to lose both parents and I was lucky to have them till ages 77 and 75.There are much worse circumstances very true so I do count my blessings.I'm not wealthy,poor after I settle the financial issue but just an average joe trying to make ends meat. Things like sports,music,politcs,and other hobbies are great ot have because there diverisions from the real world. Family keeps you grounded and now that both parents are gone and sister with her family things will be tough but god only puts as much on your plate you can handle. Humans are stronger than we think.People have overcome great obstacles and this is one of the greatest you will overcome.

I am trying hard to be more religous and I find in times like these reading scripture about grief does help so I will be doing more of it.I kind of have given insite to my world as upside down as it is now.Once things settle down I'll get back to normal things in hobbies full force its just everything is so new hard to think about other things.

I appreciate the prayers, kindness you guys have shared with me. It's hard dealing with death and it seems to come when you least expect it.Cherrish the moments you have with family things can change quickly.

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 Post subject: Re: Dad had severe stroke might not make it
PostPosted: Sat Aug 22, 2009 7:24 pm 
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thescout wrote:
Hey BB,Fun Gus and BnB,thanks for sharing some of your stories and kind words. I will say that when mom died 2 years ago my dad was a heart broken,lonely man.He couldn't drive a car since about 1988 he let mom do all the errands. I do know that when a parent dies the other parent doesn't live much longer. I was living in Indianapolis when I got the news mom died which was a terrible shock.I had just got done working came home and had about 5 messages to call home.I had a phone whose battery was either low or a short in it so it would diconnect sometimes. I called home to see if there was something going on no answer. I then called my brother in laws and asked him Scott I'm calling to see if something's going on since I had 5 messages and no one answered at home. Scott(brother in law) said y eah Dave(me) your mother passed away this morning, then my phone went dead.I couldn't believe it I just talked to her 2 days ago.Talk about crying I balled for over an hour. Eventually, I quit my job and moved back with dad since he had health issues(diabetic type 2).He couldn't drive and I didn't want him to be alone so I moved back to help him out. Now that he is gone I kind of feel alone.My sister has her family and I am in this house where both of us lived.

There are so many issues now to deal with not only grief but contacting numerous people from the banks, contractors to fix the house up to sell,real estate agent and the insurance companies.Besides that I am taking some courses at the local college just to possibly do something different with my life.Thinking about physical therapist assitant or radiologist.My brother in law said that new home owners get a 8000 t ax credit ends Novemeber 1. If we do sell it by then we want to make sure we get value.Then there is the auction where highest bid buys as is. I have a good real estate agent I'll let him advise me.

The furniture will probably go to a consignment store. There some value there but also it has alot of sentimental value been in the family for decades.My head is swimming right now thinking of all the things however I know you take things one step at a time.

Dad was a big Braves fan like me maybe not as fanatical but still followed them for 20-25 years.We ate out alot places like Cracker Barrel,Bob Evans, Pizza Hut etc. He always complained about Bob Evans they don't give him an extra scoop of ice cream like Craker Barrel and it was only 93 cents more. His was a big jazz fan probablly not as much as me but I think we were both alike in interests.He had short fuse sometimes which I have but I am more rational always weighing both sides.BnB he really didin't have a favorite saying but he certainly didn't like George Bush Jr which if you have read some of my postings were both democrats.

Things are going to change alot for me but I sure didn't expect this to happen now.The job market should be better in Indy than small Ft Wayne so I'll probably move there taking into account instate tu ition vs out state tuition takes 1 year to establish residency.

I will agree losing a parent is probably the worst thing in life unless its your kids which I am not married. Losing 1 parent is extremly difficult but now both are gone devastating. Time will heel alot of things but it won't ever replace your parents who were there the first day you were born and know your history.

I'm not the first person to lose both parents and I was lucky to have them till ages 77 and 75.There are much worse circumstances very true so I do count my blessings.I'm not wealthy,poor after I settle the financial issue but just an average joe trying to make ends meat. Things like sports,music,politcs,and other hobbies are great ot have because there diverisions from the real world. Family keeps you grounded and now that both parents are gone and sister with her family things will be tough but god only puts as much on your plate you can handle. Humans are stronger than we think.People have overcome great obstacles and this is one of the greatest you will overcome.

I am trying hard to be more religous and I find in times like these reading scripture about grief does help so I will be doing more of it.I kind of have given insite to my world as upside down as it is now.Once things settle down I'll get back to normal things in hobbies full force its just everything is so new hard to think about other things.

I appreciate the prayers, kindness you guys have shared with me. It's hard dealing with death and it seems to come when you least expect it.Cherrish the moments you have with family things can change quickly.



Hey buddy, I have been through this somewhat recently and I can help you with some advice with the insurance companies and the banks.....Please I'm me with any questions or suggestions, OK? My sister found a couple insurance policies my Dad had he just plain forgot about, using some INT program....

I hate to say this but it always gets worse before it gets better...It's gonna get a little hairy, but were all wid 'ya:-)

Hey~ if you miss any games, let me know, and I'll be sure to DVD them for ya and I would be happy to FEDX them wherever if you're stuck in limbo..

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 Post subject: Re: Dad had severe stroke might not make it
PostPosted: Sat Aug 22, 2009 10:56 pm 
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Fun Gus, hey thanks for the suggestions. I hope I can get direct tv wherever I move to since not watching Falcon games kills me however I'll keep it in mind if I need a game(s) taped and I'll reimburse you.I'm about 99.9 sure dad didn't have anyother insurance policies but if the program can check other policies that he may have it might be of some use.

Alot of the financial stuff seems to be straight forward. Will meet with the lawyer Wednesday and real estate agent same day. The furniture will probably go to consignment although I may try to keep something for sentimental reasons.Whatever the real estate agent says since we have dealt with him 3 other times and he is very knowledgable.My brother in law said that an auction is a possiblity or we can fix it up and hire contractors to do it.We just want the best value we can get and its going to be hard to sell before winter but I sure hope so.

I guess on the bright side I am free to do what want. I was before but still needed to be here for reasons I stated above.It isn't like I haven't moved before to different states its just now there is no home base which I mentioned above. I don't even want to think about the holidays since it won't be the same.

I'm a member on facebook and have reconnected with some people that I haven
talked to in 27 years. This was before dad passing away but I reconnected with a friend in New york City who plays french horn in broadway shows and does alot of studio st uff. He wanted me to come out to hear some music so perhaps I will take him up on it after I get things settled.

It's ironic losing mom 2 yrs ago I didn't know what the grieving process was just had to experience it. As time goes on there are moments that still choke you up but not nearly as bad as when it happened. Losing dad just now I'm going through grief but as reason stated above its grief but different since I have no parents left.

I really need to try and find some blessings at this time. I was lucky to have such great parents,they lived a long time,born in a country that with hard work and luck you can make a living unlike some place like Ethiopia,Africa etc where they know no different. Sure it would be nice to have material things but there is no replacement for family.I'll just have to remember the good times I had with mom and dad and my belief system will see them again after I pass away. We all know there will be a day each of us will pass away. My belief system life is a test treat other people well,do good deeds and follow Jesus.That's me and everyone has their beliefs but someday I hope I'm in a place where I don't have to worry about all the things you go threw in life pain,suffering,grief but a place of beauty that you can play jazz with any musician you want and learn from by talking to them,watch Falcon and Braves games, movies and just so many possibilities its endless what we think as humans.

I like to debate alot and what happens after you die has always interested me. Near death experiences so knowing there are many frauds out there but there just are to many stories of people coming back and telling their experience that it's real and we can't imagine the peace your in. I would really like to talk to someone about their near death experience rather than books or reading articles on the internet. I think all of us would like to know if the otherside really exists but right now I have to go on faith and things like near death experiences can sure ease my grief.

Here I am getting elaborant again wri ti ng a novel which I didn't mean to. Bare with me guys the grieving process is difficult to go through and writing on this board helps get my emotions out.Thanks a bunch for listening to me and maybe it helps someone else when they go through this process.

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 Post subject: Re: Dad had severe stroke might not make it
PostPosted: Sun Aug 23, 2009 12:16 am 
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thescout wrote:
Fun Gus, hey thanks for the suggestions. I hope I can get direct tv wherever I move to since not watching Falcon games kills me however I'll keep it in mind if I need a game(s) taped and I'll reimburse you.I'm about 99.9 sure dad didn't have anyother insurance policies but if the program can check other policies that he may have it might be of some use.

Alot of the financial stuff seems to be straight forward. Will meet with the lawyer Wednesday and real estate agent same day. The furniture will probably go to consignment although I may try to keep something for sentimental reasons.Whatever the real estate agent says since we have dealt with him 3 other times and he is very knowledgable.My brother in law said that an auction is a possiblity or we can fix it up and hire contractors to do it.We just want the best value we can get and its going to be hard to sell before winter but I sure hope so.

I guess on the bright side I am free to do what want. I was before but still needed to be here for reasons I stated above.It isn't like I haven't moved before to different states its just now there is no home base which I mentioned above. I don't even want to think about the holidays since it won't be the same.

I'm a member on facebook and have reconnected with some people that I haven
talked to in 27 years. This was before dad passing away but I reconnected with a friend in New york City who plays french horn in broadway shows and does alot of studio st uff. He wanted me to come out to hear some music so perhaps I will take him up on it after I get things settled.

It's ironic losing mom 2 yrs ago I didn't know what the grieving process was just had to experience it. As time goes on there are moments that still choke you up but not nearly as bad as when it happened. Losing dad just now I'm going through grief but as reason stated above its grief but different since I have no parents left.

I really need to try and find some blessings at this time. I was lucky to have such great parents,they lived a long time,born in a country that with hard work and luck you can make a living unlike some place like Ethiopia,Africa etc where they know no different. Sure it would be nice to have material things but there is no replacement for family.I'll just have to remember the good times I had with mom and dad and my belief system will see them again after I pass away. We all know there will be a day each of us will pass away. My belief system life is a test treat other people well,do good deeds and follow Jesus.That's me and everyone has their beliefs but someday I hope I'm in a place where I don't have to worry about all the things you go threw in life pain,suffering,grief but a place of beauty that you can play jazz with any musician you want and learn from by talking to them,watch Falcon and Braves games, movies and just so many possibilities its endless what we think as humans.

I like to debate alot and what happens after you die has always interested me. Near death experiences so knowing there are many frauds out there but there just are to many stories of people coming back and telling their experience that it's real and we can't imagine the peace your in. I would really like to talk to someone about their near death experience rather than books or reading articles on the internet. I think all of us would like to know if the otherside really exists but right now I have to go on faith and things like near death experiences can sure ease my grief.

Here I am getting elaborant again wri ti ng a novel which I didn't mean to. Bare with me guys the grieving process is difficult to go through and writing on this board helps get my emotions out.Thanks a bunch for listening to me and maybe it helps someone else when they go through this process.



Hey. Scout. I'm a crass Libertarian 42 yr old , born of 2 parents with different religions ( baptist, catholic )...I can tell you I really had a religious experience goin to the far East: seeing thier religion and thinking about the one's I was brought up in...This is the 'batchelor board', I guess only BnB and I have kids...
BUT: after having my own little poo machine, and seeing the East. I cannot believe it's all 'chance'. I just cannot buy it: and I promise you I am a cynical bastard of enormous proportions.
I can say you will see him again: his soul, at least. I buy into that. This cannot be some Plinko machine. I agree there is too much smoke to think that we are all just 'gone', but if you asked me Scout 5 years ago, I would have scoffed.

I honestly believe we will all be together again: my only question is the 'how'. I do not buy into the 'city of Gold' pitch, that seems a little too 'sham wow' for me and always has. I thin we get rotated around but we all find each other once or twice on the carousel.

Hey, I'm not kidding if you need advice. Please dont hesitate....

Your a Jazz guy, but beer and CnW helped me when my mom died. My Dad hated Jazz, you were a lucky boy 8-)

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 Post subject: Re: Dad had severe stroke might not make it
PostPosted: Sun Aug 23, 2009 5:18 am 
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Scout, just a few words from me. As you know I am an Antique dealer. I would rethink the consignment issue with the furniture. You would be better off taking some high quality pictures and going to a few local dealers and getting an estimate for the whole lot. Consignments are slow, and usually the dealer finds some way to screw you in the long run. I would also recommend, if possible that you and your sister retain a few pieces for yourselves, (if you want). I have seen so many people sell their grandparents/parents stuff, only to come back in 5-10 years and regret it. You may still have children one day, and passing along a piece of family treasure gives the linage some perspective.

Also , once again if possible, look through everything your Dad owned. Very carefully. Every book, every box, every drawer (look behind & under each drawer), every shoe box...everything. An old coin, stamp, or any other collectable could be worth something. A vase, or something as basic as an old kitchen machine from the 50's could be worth something. I have found peices that weren't properly looked over, and found stamp collections, old coins etc....in compartments, etc.

Also as far as the other things go, such as clothes, shoes and kitchen items (pots, pans, dishes, towels etc) homeless shelters, women shelters and other helping organizations need things like this and would be happy to pick them up. The Red Cross for example always needs things for Tornado, flood victims.

As the others have put so well, you are facing some good days and bad days the next few months. Please keep talking to people. Talk about your Dad as much as possible. I will never get tired of hearing it. Football is secondary right now. Above all take care of yourself. Eat right. Don't get into bad habits...you don't need that right now. Go for long walks to clear your head. Loneliness is a killer, and leads to other things you don't need right now. If you have a pastor, keep in close touch with him/her. If you need anything, let me know.

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 Post subject: Re: Dad had severe stroke might not make it
PostPosted: Sun Aug 23, 2009 11:12 am 
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Another of my dad's quotations is, "If you believe it then it's true." I have no idea what awaits us and am perfectly willing to accept either premise. In the end, I really don't feel I get a vote. As they say these days, it is what it is and we'll all know one day...maybe sooner than we would like.

Times like these are when it is great to have some outlet like your music or writing. As a friend of mine says, it can be a lot of company. If you notice, funerals often end up being a joyous affair as we all recount the good times and the attributes of the departed. Many a joke has been made about the casserole and the Southern funeral but it is really a beautiful thing where we all get together and celebrate the dead and appreciate the living. I'm sure you and your sister will share a million stories about your folks. Sometimes you have to use each other to separate the man from the legend! :lol: It's great that you were able to live with him and really get to know him well these last years. I always fee for these guys who have never met their father or who do not have or never have had such a figure in their lives.

As to the possessions...God, all of us kids just look at each other and wonder what we could possibly do with all my folks' stuff which is spread over two fairly big houses, however, as my mother had to "close out" my above mentioned aunt's life she has become acutely aware of the tedious and agonizing affair it is and has tried to at least stop the flow in if not dissolve what she has. As BB says, look carefully through everything but I would say not so much for its monetary worth and so on but because you may find an old letter from his mother or some such sentimental thing that will be worth a pile of gold to you. When one of those big oak trees goes down it takes an awful lot with it. you can no longer ask him what his first dog's name was or what he was doing the minute he heard you were born. I'm sure he was proud of you though. How couldn't he be?

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 Post subject: Re: Dad had severe stroke might not make it
PostPosted: Sun Aug 23, 2009 12:42 pm 
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backnblack wrote:
Another of my dad's quotations is, "If you believe it then it's true." I have no idea what awaits us and am perfectly willing to accept either premise. In the end, I really don't feel I get a vote. As they say these days, it is what it is and we'll all know one day...maybe sooner than we would like.

Times like these are when it is great to have some outlet like your music or writing. As a friend of mine says, it can be a lot of company. If you notice, funerals often end up being a joyous affair as we all recount the good times and the attributes of the departed. Many a joke has been made about the casserole and the Southern funeral but it is really a beautiful thing where we all get together and celebrate the dead and appreciate the living. I'm sure you and your sister will share a million stories about your folks. Sometimes you have to use each other to separate the man from the legend! :lol: It's great that you were able to live with him and really get to know him well these last years. I always fee for these guys who have never met their father or who do not have or never have had such a figure in their lives.

As to the possessions...God, all of us kids just look at each other and wonder what we could possibly do with all my folks' stuff which is spread over two fairly big houses, however, as my mother had to "close out" my above mentioned aunt's life she has become acutely aware of the tedious and agonizing affair it is and has tried to at least stop the flow in if not dissolve what she has. As BB says, look carefully through everything but I would say not so much for its monetary worth and so on but because you may find an old letter from his mother or some such sentimental thing that will be worth a pile of gold to you. When one of those big oak trees goes down it takes an awful lot with it. you can no longer ask him what his first dog's name was or what he was doing the minute he heard you were born. I'm sure he was proud of you though. How couldn't he be?



funny you mention that. I was going through an old high school yearbook of my Fathers~ he was born in 25, so he hit high school age right as WW2 was going on, and he ended up in the Mighty 8th..In this old yearbook was a weathered, folded piece of paper. It turned out to be a WW1 company 'newsletter' called the 'Cootie', and it was penned by my Grandfather. I never knew of my Grandfather's WW1 service! I looked up the info on this letter, and found out my GD fought with O'Ryan's Roughnecks in WW1 in France. The letter is dated Feb 8 1919...I did some research and found a guy who maintains a website devoted to this group, and he was very excited about my find. I framed it, but not before I sent a couple repro's to this guy, who looked into it and found it to be authentic. He then found a pic of my Granbdfather from WW1!!! How cool is that? And all this happened after I lost my Dad. Now I am so mad I didn't get the chance to talk to him about this more, but I did get a glimpse into my Grandad I never knew just by chance. Look into EVERYTHING! My stepmom and I found 2 mysetrious wedding rings in a small box in one of his old cowboy boots!

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 Post subject: Re: Dad had severe stroke might not make it
PostPosted: Sun Aug 23, 2009 3:23 pm 
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Once again guys your words at this time really help me get through this. I think shock and disbelief hit you the hardest but the grieving process will take a long time at least for me.I don't have alot of time to talk but will post later on about the comments just made from you guys. Right now I am going to my sister's and take care of the Jack Russell dog that I am so fond of so was dad.

In life you go through ups and downs and this is at least as low as I have been if not lower since mom's death just because there is no home base and no parents left.Have to go hopefully the dog helps today.I do feel a little stronger with more sleep.

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 Post subject: Re: Dad had severe stroke might not make it
PostPosted: Sun Aug 23, 2009 6:11 pm 
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thescout wrote:
Once again guys your words at this time really help me get through this. I think shock and disbelief hit you the hardest but the grieving process will take a long time at least for me.I don't have alot of time to talk but will post later on about the comments just made from you guys. Right now I am going to my sister's and take care of the Jack Russell dog that I am so fond of so was dad.

In life you go through ups and downs and this is at least as low as I have been if not lower since mom's death just because there is no home base and no parents left.Have to go hopefully the dog helps today.I do feel a little stronger with more sleep.



You got lots of time and love that doggie...Tell ya what, I will help you out by arguing that the Yankees finally made the $$ work for them in the Lounge while yer away....It's the least I can do :wink:

No Homo 8-)

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